After long

Its been a long time since I last wrote something here and I am not happy knowing it.
There have been a lot of things going around in mind and I feel very confused. All of it is related to what I want to do in my future. Though I am happy doing what I`ve been doing for some time with Kudumbashree- NRO, it no longer feels home. I seriously want to start something on my own. I am up for the risk. I even want to read further and do something in the field of Journalism. At the same time, I feel that I am not suitable for a journalist. I do not know. I got some plans and will share those here as well-

• The first plan is to open a CAFE! Yes, to open a cafe and that too in Mahendragarh. What is new about opening a Cafe? Something that this Cafe can offer is being a space for dialogues where anybody and everybody is welcomed to voice their opinions and share their stories. A Cafe is a place that offers something to eat to everybody and this would be no different. It can also offer Chai, Coffee, snacks and some food as well but the goal is just not that.  The goal is to be a space for creativity, expression, stories, and voices. A stage for artists to perform, a gallery for exhibition, a little bookstore and a space for arts and crafts that would be offered them to buy. 
• The second plan is to go and study Journalism either from India or from someplace abroad. This is also one of the things that I have always wanted to pursue. I always wanted to write on issues that bother me. The place which I call home has got a lot of issues to talk about and I too want to write on them. I want to write it the way the community wants writers to write them. Similar to what Bhawani Prasad Mishra once talked of writers. I want to be a writer and hence this plan of actually starting a newspaper that would talk about the issues in and around this particular area. I don't know how but I still think of it, every day. 
• The third plan is to open some little cafe or restaurant somewhere in the mountains without any particular aim. The place could be Dehradun. It is one place that I think I really love. I am not sure but could be one of the options. This also can be one place from where even SHE can operate and does her art and craft related works. 
• The fourth plan is to do something that would help me in landing up to UNICEF, THE INDIAN EXPRESS and THE BETTER INDIA as a professional. These are some of the organizations that I still look up to and believe that these are the best in their respective fields of work. I would have an amazing time working with them. 
• I`ve always wanted to travel and the fifth plan is around it. For that, just keep working somewhere and save money to travel or leave everything and everyone and just roam without any aim. I wish I could the later one but I won`t be able to. I wish I had decided something like it earlier. I didn`t have confidence in me and then family issues. They would never let me go out of their hands. I don't know. 

It's difficult to go for any of it but difficulties would anyway come. It's hard to take the first courageous step but that's how things are meant to be.

I hope to be courageous enough to take the first step and proceed with any of the plans mentioned above.

Allah, give me the required strength, please!