FALLEN

We hear and we forget, we see and we remember, we do and we understand! ~ Confucius, a Chinese philosopher.

These above lines make life easier in the case of mistakes committed by one. Obviously, until unless we commit mistakes, we usually don`t get our lesson. And that’s what happened in this case too.

But nonetheless, it was a fine battle with my beloved Mathematics for five straight years.

That one mark has certainly helped me to fill my scars for the good and helped me to grow as a human being. I would have remained the same if it was not happened and I obviously owe to this failure. It is like I fell into the space of many greats who earlier failed to succeed later. These are clearly the signs of the life where you don`t know what exactly is going to happen next. This struggle is the clear sign.

And there are some lessons learnt-

Thank you one mark for making me realize yet again that it is only your family which always would come to your rescue to help you out of these situations and nobody else has nothing to do whatever you do except a handful of loyal ones. And thank you for forcing me to remain alone for a long period of time and I really have got no complains for that. I am happy that I could fall in love with myself all over again and with the solitude and this is a happy feeling. This has certainly helped me to overcome the fear of solitude among many others. I would have not come to know a beautiful me had I not failed. This has made me strong for the good reasons.

I got to realize that I have got nothing to prove to anyone and there is nothing that anyone can do for me either. Life is a mix of paradoxes but it definitely lies in the process of learning. Life is in learning itself. Quoting one elderly scientist from BARC, Bombay who met me in a park and said me these beautiful lines that that if we keep this process of learning alive, we would never die. The paradox is nothing but to keep learning. And these failures make us learn and help us to become beautiful- open to learning, open to growing and open to understanding this process of life which is in ups and downs.

Thanks to Bhavna mam for guiding me through all this by understanding the weaknesses and the fears and for being a wonderful guide to me. I really owe a lot to you and I would never forget the way you handled my case and encouraged me to go happily through this process.

Thank you Hansraj for not letting me go out of your gates at that time as I still had a lot to learn and unlearn before graduating! I was clearly not good enough if I actually see it today to be a part of you at the starting and it made me feel inferior to others. I wish I had managed to cope through that different down feeling but I couldn`t and it ended in a failure. The ending was not that good. But I have got enough time now to change that ending and to realize the importance of earlier being a student of an elite college. Thank you Hansraj for this mix of feelings and emotions.

I feel lucky and equally blessed to go through such a process at an early age and I hope this would help me in coming days to cope with different feelings.
Sometimes when we fall in the right way, the world turns over. And certainly, what felt like falling, yesterday, feels like flying, today.

I hope for many interesting days to be ahead!

Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.
~ Pema Chodron.